Newborn Pictures of Benjamin

A sweet friend of ours offered to take newborn pictures of Benjamin last weekend. (Thanks Amber McDougall) They turned out so great. Beautiful pictures of our beautiful baby boy.

I have a post all typed up about Benjamin's birth story. I just need to add pictures, so be patient with me and I will get that up soon. 

Benjamin Herschel Landes

Benjamin Herschel Landes

Born November 19, 2012 at 12:45 p.m.

8 lbs, 21 in.

T Minus 1 Day!

Tomorrow is the BIG day!! We will take our kids to spend the night at our friends house tonight, because Gabe and I will head to the hospital at wee-thirty in the morning. So ready to meet our little guy. Not looking forward to the pain of labor and delivery though. Let's be honest, that part is not a barrel of laughs. This past week has been crazy dealing with the palsy. I am determined to go into tomorrow with complete joy, low stress, and a positive attitude. Having to deal with the palsy at this exact moment is not ideal, but obviously I can't do a thing about it. So my thoughts will rest on my precious son who will be tucked safely in my arms very soon. Please join us as we pray for a safe delivery of a healthy baby boy.

I promise I am happy. My face just can't show much expression right now. Darn that Bells Palsy!

My last pregnancy picture. 39 weeks 1 day pregnant.

Baby Steps

I wanted to share a few small victories with you concerning the Bells Palsy. First of all, I have had a better attitude today. It has been quite an emotional roller coaster ride all week with high highs and low lows. But today, I have been able to stay away from the lows. HUGE victory, especially considering the fact that I was in deep sobbing tears yesterday afternoon and last night. I am working really hard to remain positive. I know that the added stress of being down about it all the time will not help me heal. So YEAH for the positive outlook!! God has really helped me gain perspective on this whole ordeal. I wouldn't wish this on anybody, but I have to keep in mind that it is temporary and it is not life threatening. All the glory goes to God for helping me see the big picture.

Second, I woke up through the night feeling a lot of twitching in my right eye and my upper lip. Never thought I would appreciate the feel of a twitch as much as I do now. I don't know if this is a sign of recovery, but I appreciate the sensation. I pray that the twitching means my nerve is healing and my muscles are remembering what they are supposed to do.

Third, my right eye has not bothered me near as much today as it has been. That may be due to the fact that I got better (and more expensive) drops to treat my eye or it could be due to the fact that I can now almost close my eye if I concentrate really hard on it. Being able to walk around the house without a patch on for awhile is so nice. My right eye is very sensitive to light right now, but the fact that I can have it uncovered is a step in the right direction.

Other than the twitching, my mouth is still not working very well. I won't dwell on that though.

Baby steps.

Bells Palsy

I mentioned in my last post about being diagnosed with Bells Palsy. I wrote that post on Monday, it is now Thursday and a lot has changed with the symptoms of Bells Palsy. I am risking being a downer, but I just feel the  need to write about my experience with this and how it has affected me physically and emotionally. (Disclaimer: I know this condition is temporary, however that does not diminish the difficulty of dealing with it right now)

Friday, the 9th: I started to notice that food was tasting strange to me. At first I just thought it was a strange pregnancy thing, kind of like first trimester food aversions.

Saturday, the 10th: My tongue felt funny. It felt like it was covered with something and I couldn't taste things right. (or like when you get a burn on your tongue) This day was also full of cramping and contractions that lasted half the day, completely unrelated to the Bells.

Sunday, the 11th: I had a lot of twitching in my right eye. Didn't think much of this. Everyone has this from time to time. Still had the weird tongue and taste issues though.

Monday, the 12th: I woke up this day and my right eye was really bothering me. I had taken a shower and washed my face. I thought I just got soap in my eye, which I did. At that time I didn't realize that I got soap in my eye because it wasn't closing all the way. My eye was so irritated and watering that day. Then I noticed that my face felt funny when I smiled. I went to the bathroom to look at my face and realized that the right side of my mouth wasn't working. I tried to pull my lips into a tight O, but my right side was droopy. This was very scary to see, so I told Gabe about it and he said call your doc, which I did. After my doctor examined me, he diagnosed me with Bells Palsy. I had never heard of this before, but apparently it is very common for pregnant women in their third trimester, especially within weeks of delivery. I happen to fit that description. From what I have read and learned from my doctor, it could be caused by edema the extra fluids compressing the facial nerve which causes the palsy. It could also be caused by a viral infection (immune system in pregnant women is suppressed) This infection could cause inflammation which results in the palsy. My concern is that I struggled with inflammation issues before I got pregnant and none of my doctors could figure out why. I wonder if I was more susceptible for this based on my history. It is so frustrating when my body fails me.

Thursday the 15th: What started as a slight droop on my eye and mouth, which Gabe couldn't notice on Monday, has now developed into a very annoying problem. My right eye is severely drooped and won't close all the way. I have to take measures to protect that eye by using eye drops and covering it with a patch. This has caused even more issues. I have found that my left eye is very weak, so my vision is very blurred now. It is hard for me to read, watch TV, and I definitely can't drive either. I also have a lot of depth perception issues. The vision problems cause dizziness and nausea. Gabe had to drive me to the doctor yesterday for our last sonogram. Just riding as a passenger the movement combined with my blurred vision made me so sick to my stomach. I have a very severe pain on and around my right ear. This is the only painful thing about the palsy. Everything else is a nuisance. The right side of my mouth is droopy. It is hard to eat, drink, and talk. Worst of all, I have lost my ability to smile. This has bothered me more than anything else and has been the cause of a lot of emotional down moments. It is killing me that I won't be able to smile when Benjamin is born. It frankly makes me mad that this cropped up so suddenly right at the end of this pregnancy and though I know I shouldn't let it, it is zapping my joy. It bothers me that all the first pictures of Benjamin and myself I will be looking like this. Vain? Maybe, but it is what it is. I am praying through this and seeking the Lord's purpose and desire in all of this. Of course, my prayer is that the symptoms of this would go away quickly, but I am also praying that God would help me accept this and focus on what is important. My son is due to arrive in just days. I will finally get to hold him and see the beauty God created in my son. My physical challenges pale in comparison.

Treatment: My doctor suggested prescribing prednisone for me to take. Initially I resisted this. Taking a steroid while pregnant doesn't sound like a good idea. I researched it and could find very little online that supported taking prednisone while pregnant. But when my symptoms got much worse within days, I decided to talk to my OB about it more when we went back for the sonogram. He assured me that prednisone is used often for pregnant women and it does not cross the placenta. The length of taking it is also very short. I will be finished with my dosage by Saturday. And the dosage is not that high. Obviously, I changed my mind and decided to take the medicine, praying it does not have any adverse affects on Benjamin. From what I have read, taking it in the first trimester could result in cleft palette and other issues like that. I am trusting that I have made the right decision for both myself and our baby boy.

So there you have it. My latest pregnancy challenge. With all the ups and downs of this pregnancy, I have started to wonder if God is preparing me to let this season of my life pass. I know I have said this before but I truly think this is my last pregnancy. My body has been through so much this time around and honestly I don't want to endure a lot of this again. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is a HUGE blessing. We have always had such a hard time getting pregnant that I feel each pregnancy and child is a miracle.

At the sonogram yesterday, Benjamin measured big but not too big. He measured around 8lbs. Of course, before birth Caleb measured at 7 1/2 lbs and he was born at 9lbs 4oz. So we won't really know until the big day, which is Monday. I am so looking forward to meeting my sweet son. Only 4 days left!!

38 weeks

A lot has happened since I last updated about my pregnancy. Our baby boy is growing, growing, growing! At my last few appointments, my doctor started showing some concern about Benjamin getting too big. My last baby, Caleb, was also a big baby at 9lb 4oz. My doctor started talking to me about inducing early. Initially I was not on board with being induced. My last experience with being induced was not a good one. When I was pregnant with Julia, I feel like my doctor at the time talked me into being induced out of convenience. And then the induction was so fast and furious that when Julia was born she had bruising all over her face. I promised myself I would never choose to be induced unless there was a really good reason for it. Well, a big baby is a good reason. I talked to Gabe about it and I prayed about it. After asking my current doctor a lot of questions about how he induces, my questions were answered and my fears alleviated. So I am scheduled to be induced next Monday. November 19, 2012 - sounds like a great day to be born!!

This pregnancy has been so different than my previous pregnancies in so many ways. Today I added yet another difficulty to this pregnancy. Over the weekend I started noticing that my taste sensations were a bit off. It felt like I had burned my tongue and couldn't taste things the right way. Yesterday, I had a lot of twitching in my right eye. Then today I noticed that the right side of my mouth wasn't working properly and my right eye was bothering me. I went to my doctor and he diagnosed me with having Bells Palsy. It should go away sometime after I give birth, but in the meantime it is very annoying and frustrating. It is hard to drink, I can't really taste anything the way it should taste (even water tastes funny), and my right eye is all droopy and won't close all the way so it is always watering and irritated. My doctor said I could take prednisone but I opted to wait it out and see if it goes away on its own after Benjamin is born. Even though prednisone is said to be safe during pregnancy, I don't want to chance it. I can endure anything for one more week!

The kids are so happy that their baby brother is finally going to be born. Over the last couple of weeks I have been able to take each of my kids out on a date by themselves. I always try to do this when a new little one is on the way. It is special time with each of them. I know I am about to get really busy and distracted for awhile with the new baby, so I wanted to give them some extra attention now.

Caleb was first up. I took him to get some dinner and then we went to a park to play. He soaked up all the attention and we had fun playing together.

Next I took Isaac out. He opted for a date at Orange Leaf - his absolute favorite! We had a great conversation and he even opened up to me. He voiced his concerns about how different things will be when Benjamin is born. Surprisingly he doesn't really remember what it was like when Caleb was born. He was only 5 then.

And just the other day, I took Julia out for a lunch date at CiCi's Pizza - her favorite. Her mantra when going to Cici's is, "I am going to stuff and stuff until I've had enough" That's my girl!! We also had a great conversation. She too had some questions about how things will be different once Benjamin is born. She is such a sweet girl and a fantastic sister. I think she is going to love having a baby brother around!

So we are on the final stretch. I finally got the hospital bags packed this past weekend. I have a few other little things to get done, but mostly I am going to try to relax and rest as we approach Benjamin's birthday. Praying for his safe arrival.

Home School Week Eleven

The kids had fun making these costumes this past week. Can you guess how they relate to what we were learning? Go to our home school blog to find out.

Fall Costume Party

We don't celebrate Halloween. We've never taken our kids trick or treating. We are "that" family! However, we love this time of year and know that our kids love to dress up. We usually take our kids to our church's fall festival. They get to dress up, play games, and all that jazz. However, this year the fall festival cost money, which is something we are very tight on right now. So we opted not to attend, which was a bummer. My awesome husband came to the rescue by planning a costume party for our Life Group up at the church. The kids got to dress up and each family brought yummy snacks and one planned activity. It turned out so great and everyone had a wonderful time. (and it didn't cost us an arm and a leg!!)

Isaac dressed up as a Knight and a mighty handsome one at that! He and Gabe worked together to make a sword out of wood. Any excuse to build something out of wood and use tools! Plus, it was quality time for the two of them.

Julia decided she wanted to be a dalmatian this year. Her costume is the only one we had to make. I am in no way a seamstress. In fact Gabe is more handy in this department. (he used to make costumes when he taught Theater Arts) Gabe sewed on some black dots to her white shirt and made some doggie ears. He painted her face and we had the cutest little dalmatian I have ever seen.

Caleb is very into "piderman" as he calls him. I found this cute cape at a consignment store for super cheap, so we went with that. He asked Gabe to paint some spiders on his hands and he was good to go.

We all had so much fun at the costume party. The kids spent the first part of the night just playing outside, then we took them in as it was getting dark to play some inside games like bobbing for apples,  candy corn race, and a craft. After they all gorged themselves on all the treats, they got to go on a glow stick hunt on the playground once it was dark. They LOVED this!

When Gabe first mentioned planning a costume party, I sort of freaked out. Ok, I'll be honest. It was more like a full throttle freak out. No "sort of" about it!!! I usually love to plan parties but I am so far along in this pregnancy that the thought of doing something like that was just overwhelming. So what did Gabe do, he totally took the reigns and planned the whole thing. I was super impressed and thankful that he went out of his way to do this for the kids. He is pretty awesome like that!