Do Not Be A Jellyfish

I have said it before and I will say it again...... I am a parent of a STRONG WILLED CHILD! A pretty huge battle waged in my house yesterday morning. One that sent me running for every ounce of wisdom I could get my hands on. Fortunately, with God's guidance, I usually run in the right direction and often land at His feet. But not always. In my true nature I run away. I want to escape the conflict or the problem, not deal with it head on. However, today it landed me in the Scripture, in prayer, and the Focus on the Family website!! I came across an article that spoke directly to my need. I copied and pasted portions of it below. The one thing that seemed to scream at me from the article was the description of how parents become "spineless jellyfish who are unworthy of respect or allegiance" when they are not secure and confident in their parenting. One of my biggest struggles in dealing with the behavior of my son, is getting too emotionally involved and allowing myself to react from my emotions. I usually turn into the jellyfish. Because I am a visual person, I wrote "DO NOT BE A JELLYFISH" on my dry erase board in my kitchen as a constant reminder to be confident, decisive, firm but gentle in my parenting. Here is one excerpt from the article that I am referring to.......

When that nose-to-nose confrontation occurs between generations, it is extremely important for the adult to display confidence and decisiveness. The child has made it clear that he’s looking for a fight, and his parents would be wise not to disappoint him! Nothing is more destructive to parental leadership than for a mother or father to equivocate during that struggle. When parents consistently lose those battles, resorting to tears and screaming and other signs of frustration, some dramatic changes take place in the way they are seen by their children. Instead of being secure and confident leaders, they become spineless jellyfish who are unworthy of respect or allegiance.

I admittedly have had the thought, "why me?". Why am I the parent that has to struggle with a strong willed child and have nightmare memories of a colic infant? I want to shout like a child.... "NOT FAIR" However, fair isn't the issue here. It is what it is. God chose me specifically for these children and vice versa. So here is where my attitude needs to make its home. And believe me, being the parent of a Strong Willed child, it is hard to remember this on a day to day basis. It is the truth non the less.......

When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right. Their attitude should be, “The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. And I’m up to the task. I’m going to make it with the Lord’s help.”

With renewed hope and the full realization that God's mercies are new every morning, I make this the prayer of my heart....

“Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I’m doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands.”

For the full article from Focus on the Family click on the link below:

How to Shape Your Child's Will