This is going to be about my journey with the Lord. Where I have been, where I am, and where I am going as I walk with my Savior. If I am going to be true to this title, then I must be honest in sharing my failings, which are many. I am intimidated to be so raw and vulnerable. My natural instinct is to hide the ugly and wear a mask that makes others think I have it all under control. So far from the truth.
So let's get real. Let's be honest.
I am in a rut, a spiritual rut. For the last few months at least. It crept up on me. Slowly. At first I was just "busy" then I was just "distracted", but it is glaringly obvious to me now that I have been disinterested. There, I said it. What an ugly word, especially when I am talking about my Savior.This layer of disinterest is a thin one. Enough to keep me down and absent for awhile but not enough to squelch my desire to commune with Jesus, to hold fast to Him, to cling to Him. Just below the surface I can feel the pull of the Holy Spirit calling me back. I have turned a deaf ear to His call for too long. Embarrassing and shameful, but true. I have been hard on myself wondering what was wrong with me. Why was I leaving church feeling empty where I just worshiped with other believers? Why was studying God's Word so dry for me? Why was my prayer time fizzling out? Why? Why? Why?
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" 1 Peter 5:8
I let my guard down. Not all at once. Bit by tiny bit until I woke up one day and realized the disinterest covered me like a blanket. My enemy prowls like a lion.
There is a battle within and I am no longer going to sit by and watch from the side lines. I know who my enemy is and I know he wants to strip God of His glory. I know he wants me to turn my attention elsewhere. I am not blinded by his schemes. I am not left defenseless and alone in this battle. I have victory through Christ Jesus my Savior.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6: 10 - 12
Today I am standing strong in the Lord. I will put on the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. I will waver no longer. For I am His and He is mine.
I desire a reigniting passion for the Lord to return. Today is the day to be honest with myself, with those around me, and with God. Today I will sing these words with deep rooted honesty and raw passion to My God, My Savior, My Abba, My Love. My God is Greater, Stronger, and Higher than any other. Awesome in Power. Praise His name forever!
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