Fear

Just experienced the most frightening moment of my entire life. Caleb went missing for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was about 5-10 min. The cops were called and Gabe rushed home. Caleb was on the back porch playing with sidewalk chalk. The gate (which is usually always locked) wasn't locked today. My guess is that he followed Ollie (our dog) out the gate. I found Caleb around the block crying.

Today shows how quickly everything can crumble. I usually check the lock on the gate when Caleb is outside. He knows how to unlatch the gate and push it open, and so does Oliver. Today Caleb went out back to play with the chalk and I didn't check the gate. I came back out to check on him and he was not in his usual play places . My heart sank when I saw the chalk by the gate which was closed but unlatched. I ran out front and looked everywhere. Caleb was not in sight. My mind went to some really bad and scary places so I cried out to God to bring my baby boy back to me. Fear, deep fear.

I called Gabe and he immediately rushed home. Then I called 911. Never had to do that before and I hope I never have to do that again. Somehow through my hysteria I was able to get her all the information she needed and the cops were on their way. I sent Isaac and Julia one way down our block and I went the other. I turned the corner and at that moment Caleb came around the corner down the street. He was crying and calling out for me. I have never been so sad and relieved at the same time. I ran to him and scooped his little body up into my arms. The weight and warmth of him filled me.

This all took place within minutes, but it seemed to last forever. Things were in slow motion and high speed at the same time. I called 911 again to tell them I had found my son, but the cops showed up anyway just to check on him. I am sure they have seen their fair share of distraught parents but I blubbered and cried so much I could barely talk to them. I just kept thanking them for coming so quickly. They were so nice and sweet to the kids. Caleb kept touching my face and wiping my tears away. He didn't understand why Mommy was so upset.

All this time, our dog was also missing. I frankly did not care about that. I love the dog and all, but no comparison. Isaac thankfully threw on some shoes and went to search for him. And sure enough Oliver was on the same street that Caleb had come from.

Gabe showed up (I had already called him and told him Caleb was okay) and he held me as I cried.  Guilt washed over me as I repeatedly apologized to Gabe for loosing our little boy. His only response was there was nothing to forgive. I love that man so much.


I have never experienced fear like this. I have cried hysterically and praised God in the same breath. All is well now, but I am still a bit shaken. So our Fun Week Day Four has been cancelled. I don't think I can take Inflatable Wonderland today. We need to just stick close to home.